Nursing Comes to an End {1.19,2013}

I loved breastfeeding...

Its hard at the beginning and end, but I am proud that I was able to do it for both of my kids for 13 months (SJ) and 11.5 months (Andrew).

 

I didnt want to wean him.. he pretty much weaned himself.

After he started biting me around Christmas, I decided to pump and give him bottles before each naptime.. and that worked for a few weeks.. then he would only take 1/2 of the bottle, or we would rock him to sleep without it.. and he would take a nap..

 

The night time feedings were never going to end though.. and he wasnt eating. He would comfort suck... and he was hooked. So I would load him up with a big bottle before bed, and that worked again .. only for a couple weeks.

 

Then recently he went 3-4 days without the big bottle at night, he would wiggle away, and scream and turn his head.. he just didnt want it. And the more I tried, the more aggrivated he would get. I would even try to nurse him as a last resort, and he would twist his body and scream.. he did not want my milk or to nurse.

 

So yesterday I decided.. what am I pumping for?

He doesnt want the milk.. he's tired and he doesnt know how to put himself to sleep.

So great... I knew we would be left with either rocking him.. or crying it out..

 

I tried rocking him.. I dont mind, as long as he would stay sleeping once I put him down..

No way Jose.. he would wake up EVERY TIME....

 

We started cry it out last night and I honestly am so stressed and sad, and in pain (from drying up)

It hasnt been fun around here...

 

I hope we're doing the right thing.. you never really know as parents sometimes..

But I cannot have my 1 year old sleeping on me at all times.. and thats what he wants, and where we are headed.. I dont know if I can stick with it, But Im trying so hard, because he needs to know how to put himself to sleep.

 

He was colic... He was rocked and held so much in the last 12 months.. but now I think he's old enough.. and needs to learn.. Listen to me... trying to give myself a pep talk via blog post..

 

Im praying a lot tonight for God to bless our baby, and keep him calm tonight, and know that he is loved very much..

 

 

Wish us luck!

Update on Andrew {Boobs are on Vacay}

Here's a little update on my sweet baby...

So recap, Andrew has been miserable, screams and cries ALL DAY LONG.. we cant put him down for more than 10 min, at MOST, he'd wake up screaming.. he'd scream while I was nursing, during and after.. but still wanted to latch for comfort.

We were without a doubt loosing our minds.. Colic?Gas?Something else more severe?

So I called my dr's again.. and he said I should come in and get some samples of formula to try..

NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR,...

Everyone has their own plan and what works best for their situation and as a mother, but for me, Breastfeeding was ALWAYS the plan... so I had a little breakdown.. okay many breakdowns and many tears yesterday at home, car and at Dr's office.. Bless them for they could see I was a mess.. I literally drove there in my pajamas... and later noticed I didnt even latch up my nursing bra.. so one boob was almost hanging out of my bra the entire time.. nice.. real nice..

But seriously I couldnt pull myself together.. and I was a hot hot mess.. and going on 2 hours at BEST of sleep snippets during our horrible night/morning and afternoon.

But my baby was in pain.. that was obvious.. and I had to come to terms with the fact that my milk just wasnt agreeing with him right now. So the plan is trial and error right now, to see what works for baby.

This is what they gave me, and I went home and basically was sobbing the entire time I was giving him a bottle, and whispering to him how sorry I was.. and feeling like such a failure.
But he took only 1.5 ounces.. and slept for 2 hours straight..
This was HUGE for us.. seeing as he hasnt slept past 10 minutes for days....
I was thinking... does this stuff really work that fast???
And I guess it did, because he slept pretty good overnight, waking 2 times, and he's been taking good naps all day today..
So Im coming to terms with this stuff, and realizing its whats best for my little peanut right now.
We're taking him for a synthoscan to make sure his belly is ok, and Im pumping and freezing my milk.
The plan is to NOT give up breastfeeding, but to pump and store right now, and re-introduce it to him ... All this is breaking my heart but to see a whole new baby today.. well, its worth it.
So my Boobs are on vacay.... but hopefully not an extended one..
Its been a rough week, but hopefully we can figure out a formula (no pun intended) that works, that involves my breastmilk.

Poor Baby {3 Weeks Old}

My precious little man.

The first three weeks of life have been challenging for him lately.

Seems he has some gas and reflux issues.. poor baby

Nights have been miserable.. I am like a zombie.

I sleep maybe 4 hours .. interrupted.. not all at once.

He cries real tears and is clearly in pain.. and there is not much I can do to comfort him.

I end up in tears most nights around 6am when I've been trying to just get him to calm down.

This big sister has been an angel... so patient and so self-sufficient.

She said yesterday "I wish we could get a band-aid and brother's tummy would feel better"... I teared up again... (its the new reaction)

I will say this is all new.. the last week or so.. before this he was sleeping decent for a 2 week old, even threw in a 5 hour sleep during the night which was awesome. Then all of the sudden things got ugly.. fast...
The docs, nurses, and lactation nurse (who's been to our house 4 times in the past 3 weeks) all have their theories.. Overfeeding, Reflux, Colic, Gas, ... etc..
But no one knows for sure, and our poor baby continues to suffer

This is all VERY new to me. Samantha took longer to GET nursing down, but she never was in this much pain, or didnt sleep as much for us in the beginning.
I dont mean to complain. We are blessed beyond measure with these two healthy children whom we just adore.. I guess Im looking for some answers from people who have gone through this.

One thing the lactation nurse mentioned was formula....which is fine, but then she mentioned giving up nursing.. which is not in the cards.. I really DO NOT want to even think about not breastfeeding...

Nursing is the one thing that comforts him.

Nursing is the only way I can get him to calm down from his blood-curdling screams and cries which breaks my heart.

So I think Im going to alter my diet dramatically .. cutting all dairy.. which also breaks my heart, cause I love love MILK!!!

But this little face is more important.

And he isnt so happy these days.. OR MAINLY NIGHTS!

And its really taking a toll on me, and Daddy, and everyone..

I just want a happy baby!!

So suggestions and PRAYERS! are being welcomed... New diet starts right NOW!