Kindergarten

The night before the big day was upon us.

I was a nervous wreck, but hid it well.

Would she cry?

Would she get off the bus and cry?

How is she going to get to her classroom

Will the children be nice?

How the heck is she going to get on the RIGHT bus, and make it home?

I just had to rely on the wonderful teachers and students at her school, and my faith.. to get me through every hour.. 

I wasnt sure what she would like for lunch, but her lunch time was at 12:30..and she was leaving the house at 7:30, with one snack in between. I was scared she wouldnt have enough.

So Day 1:

Goldfish Pretzels, Snow Peas, Cheesestick, Organic Turkey Roll Ups, and a Giant Frosted Apple Cookie. I didnt show her any of her lunch, I wanted the cookie to be a big surprise for her.

One of my hopes was that with kindergarten, everyones schedules would be pushed up earlier and earlier, which is what has happened over the week. I woke up around 6:30, after tossing and turning all night in fear of being late for the first day

I quickly put together a chalkboard sign (almost forgot)!!!

I literally snapped a few pics, and she was already hopping on the bus, no tears, complete confidence, and waving goodbye to us, smiling from ear to ear. 

We got to share this moment with her, bot Daddy and I, because Andrew was still deep in dreamland.

And just like that, my baby was gone.

I had to let go and trust that she would be okay and taken care of ... by people I had only met once, or never even met before. The tears were starting to come to surface. I dont know how the hell I kept them back, I suppose it was her confidence, and her excitement. 

I knew she'd be fine. But still, all my worst fears and awful thoughts were swirling in my brain.. naturally... crazy, nervous Mom. ha!

SO ... what do we do all day???

I woke up Andrew, and fed him some bacon and cereal. 

We needed milk, so he and I quickly ran to Wegmans, and on the way I may have drove past her school, you know, just to make sure it wasn't burning in flames, or being surrounded by the SWAT team.... (nervous mama... all day I tell ya)

Then we came home and ... 

We were off to the park. I wasn't brave enough to go to far from our house, so we walked. 

I couldn't help but notice how much lighter the wagon was that day, and how eerily quiet it was..

I missed her.. and I was a little sad.

I fought back tears all day..

I know this is part of her growing up, but part of that hurt.

Andrew and I had a nice little morning. 

He went down for a nap around 12:30, and I kept watching the clock, watch, phone ... just waiting til drop off time. 

I waited outside probably 25 minutes before the actual bus came.

My baby!!!
I gave her THE biggest hug ever!

She was home, and safe, and I was so happy.

She was so happy as well, which continued to ease my worry.

Day 1 was in the books.

She told me about some friends she made, and ate ALL of her lunch I packed.

She did so much by herself, I was amazed. This girl was a big ball of tears when she was 3 and 4 going into school...but not this year. This year she suddenly grew up.. and changed so much in just a few months. I am so so incredibly proud of her. 

Kindergarten is going to be great 

So Glad I Blog {Relating to Other Blogging Moms....}

I don't blog every day...

I don't even blog every other day... Sometimes I find myself going a very long time without blogging. Life is busy these days...more than I could have ever imagined as a stay-at-home Mama.

I love my job as Mama & Wife.

But I've had to adapt to a lot of changes since staying at home. I've always had a job since I was 12. I've always had my own money since I was 12. So now that Im 33, I gave up working for a few years to be with my kids, which took me all of about 1 minute to decide. I actually decided when Andrew was still in my belly...I thought.. "After this Im staying at home".. and that's what I did.

 

But some days I get really overwhelmed and down on myself. I beat myself up about being a good Mom. Some days I have it all together.. playdates, parks, lunches packed, naptimes, etc. And others we are a hot mess with meltdowns, no meals made, late naps or no naps, and not a whole lot to do.

I love my kids unconditionally, and I try so hard, maybe too hard? To raise them right, discipline the right way, eat the right way, play, act, talk, get a long... etc.. But sometimes I snap, I become this monster momma that I look back at and dispise... I'll yell or even scream, and become someone so unglued and so not full of grace, and I forget that all I need to do way more often than I do is turn to God for strength.

 

I may not be a good catholic church goer very often, but that doesn't mean that God loves us any less, or that we shouldn't lean on him, or forget that he's right there for us, if we let him in.

 

I was having one of the off days yesterday, and then I read a post by one of my other SAHM bloggers Blue Eyed Bride. She read my mind... and I decided to copy a little of what she wrote about in case some other Moms who read my blog are feeling the same way some days.

 

Blue Eyed Bride writes:

 

Because some days I am doing great! And other days, I know that I need Him to carry me through from one hour to the next. And what a joy it is to ask Him to do that. I can delight in that!
I may not be a perfect mother, but I love my babies immeasurably. I may not have it all together, but I certainly don’t have the energy to waste on pretending to have it all together. And some days I may beat myself up over these things, but my God loves me and has me covered.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 

Thank you for writing this, I sure needed to read it. I think all Moms, ones who stay at home and ones who don't really need to give ourselves more credit. Motherhood is hard work!
I love my kids, and although these days are hard at times, they are also so much fun, and there's no place I'd rather be then right here, right now.

 



Today I Was SuperMom

Today I felt like SuperMom

It may have been an every day thing for other Moms out there, and reading this is something they do all the time, and part of every day life...Well, Im gonna pat myself on the back for today.. not only did I do a lot.. but the kids cooperated and I don't think I yelled ONCE....

 

I try to keep things simple often times because I'm cautious about pushing Andrew to the limit, in fear of meltdowns, tantrums, screaming, overtired whines... you get it.. Its not pretty.. quite embarrassing to be honest.

But I try not to let these things stop me.. I try to get the kids out and do something EVERY day in the morning.

So today we were a little more adventuresome.

We took headed to the Children's Museum again.. this time just the three of us.

It was about a 1/2 hour drive.. 

 

He enjoyed the same favorite places as last time.. light switches, door knobs, door bells... 

 

The rice table.

We spent about 1.5 hours there, and then Andrew started getting a little tired.. and came up to me and said "car"... so I assumed that was our signal that he wanted to go.. I packed a lunch for Samantha and she ate lunch in the car on the way home, and thought it was the greatest thing ever...

I was speeding home (not really).. but trying to hurry, rolling windows down, listening to upbeat music.. trying to keep lil man awake.. since he has been known to power nap.. and then he has enough fuel to not take another snooze till bedtime (not cool)

 

We pulled in and I felt like I just finished a 5k. I kept him awake.. and he was still happy!

The garbage trucks pulled up 2 seconds after we got home, perfect.
I unloaded the car while these two we in heaven.

Andrew was soon sleeping, and took a 2.5 hour one.. yeay!

I started our dinner, did laundry, and even made a new yummy recipe

Salted Caramel Apple Hand Pies.



Daddy was helping a friend, and so I took the kids to the airport to watch planes take off

Thursdays must be the busiest day around here..

We must have seen about 15 take offs and landings..



 

They were so cute, sliding down the hills and holding hands.

He just adores her. And she's starting to see that he's pretty cool himself.

Not all days will be like this..

But I definitely wanted to document this one..

It was such a great day.

If I were to try to repeat it tomorrow, it just would never happen.

Days like this God gives me, and reminds me that this time with them is so short, and sometimes as a Mom, especially one who stays home ... we need reminders like this, and its easy to take these days for granted... I love my babies!!

Park Days

This week we were indeed "park junkies"
We were there 3 days in a row, and would have been there today too, but the rain kept us indoors.
I love packing cute little snack lunches.
I got to use my new LunchBots containers and I was very excited.

 



 This little thing knows just what to do at the park now, he knows what areas he likes, and enjoys the sandbox, and slides, he tries to climb everything and has no fear whatsoever... oh, asometimes he just wanders off and I have to sprint after him.. ahh my Andrew...

 

 

Little Miss Fearless... you wouldn't catch her doing this last year.. She's met a few new friends at the park, one whom is going to be 6 .. and she really gravitates towards the older kids.. and I think they make her more adventurous and brave.. which is good for her.. since she's cautious, which I like, but sometimes a little too cautious.

 

For a few days it was party of my routine, fixing cute bento lunches, and packing our swim gear, or extra clothes, diaper bag.. etc

 

She was insistent on wearing my headband like this.. and why not? She looks too damn cute to say no! ha!

 

We met a few friends at a new park on Wednesday.. and it was a steamy one..

This little guy gave me the signal when it was naptime.

 

We played for a little while at least!

 

It was good to see Miss Lucy, and new baby James too!

Lori, it was indeed TOO SHORT.. but hey.. that's how we have to roll with kids these days, right?

 

The next day we kept close to home, but went for a walk.. 

Always following his big sis...

 

While brother naps. She reads... she's trying SO SO hard to read.

She will be so proud of herself when she figures out what letter begins with a word.. and she'll run in and tell me.. MOMMA!!!... P starts with PIG!..haha.. and she says it just like that.



I've been having a lot of fun so far this summer with these kiddos..

We're knee deep in playdates, park dates, and being outside every day (when we can)

Im soaking it all in..

Happy Summer!

Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom {Greatful}

Stay at Home Mom...

Those words were like sweet music to my ears when I was in my late 20's

I knew I'd love to stay home with my kids.

"How Much fun, right?" I thought.

Just play all day, feed them, change them, naps, stories, etc..

 

 

I took the kids to Starbucks in the jogger the other day.

The woman who served us looked at me and said "are they yours?" .. that in itself is a compliment, right?

 

I told her yes, and then she asked if I stayed home with them, and I also answered yes.

She said she had been a Mom & Nanny for 26 years, and Staying at home was the best decision she had ever made. She told me:

 

"I think its a wonderful thing that you are staying at home with your kids. In a world of such chaos, its so important to try and really connect with your children and form that bond during the first few years"

 

I nodded, and said "Oh, yea, absolutely"... and then I quickly grabbed our drinks before a tantrum started brewing, and I said goodbye to her.

 

As I rollerbladed home with the kids, I began to hear what she had said to me over and over in my head. It really stuck with me.. It must have.. that was almost a month ago, and Im still thinking about her words on my hardest days.. and thanking God that I am able to be at home right now with my kids.

There are definitely days when I would like to jump out the window, lock myself in the closet, and bury my head in a pillow.. But then there is every day.. when I cant imagine anyone but ME being the one to take care of the two most precious things I have in life.

 

 

This is just our situation. If things had been different, we would have hired on another Nanny, or thought about DayCare. But this is what works best for our family, and Im not ever judging anyone who has different plans/views/ideas/thoughts... just my little disclaimer.

This blog I write for me, and my family, my readers, and mostly for memories sake. I look forward some day looking back and seeing how much our family has grown, what we've gone through, grown through, and learned through.

Today Sucked

I usually do a link up for What Im Loving Wednesday...

But today took an ugly turn for the worse...

 

Ready for a real life mom to vent .. here goes..

Im sure i will remember this day.. but i dont want to forget what we went through today.

Im keeping it real in this blog post, because.. why not? I blog for myself and my family. To preserve memories and moments good and bad.

 

In short... I had to give my 8 month old an enema, and my 3 year old worked herself into hysterics at preschool and I had to go and pick her up...

 

Andrew was up every hour last night.

He hasnt pooped in more than a week...

We've tried prune juice, pear juice, karo syrup...everything

It was getting really bad though..

Long story short... I was planning on getting him an enema after dropping SJ off at school.

 

I get a call from her school about 10 minutes into my ride to Walmart.

She was crying hysterically, and the teachers asked if I would come back and sit in the room since she was that upset. My heart just crumbled. My baby.. upset and scared.. but WHY? everything was going so smoothly... all of the sudden she doesnt like school? what was it?

I dropped Andrew off at home with Daddy (thank god he was working from home today)

I comforted her and sat in her classroom... but I had to leave after a while. Daddy called and A was screaming in pain.. I needed to get his medicine.

 

When it rains it pours.

 

I ran home.. fed him and he fell asleep.

I took SJ and went to get the medicine.

 

Came home.. told her to go play.. I gave her the ipad and turned on some Taylor Swift.. (she loves the song "Mean"...) and she was playing content on the 3rd floor.

 

Daddy and I gave A the enema.

Now if you've ever given one.. holy lord it is awful.. awful for EVERYONE INVOLVED.

He was screaming, I was tearing up, and feeling so badly that I was inflicting pain on my infant.

After I held him, he cried and cried and pushed and pushed..

Finally he is now sleeping sound at 10pm.. hopefully for the night.

 

So one baby was taken care of...for the moment.

 

Back to my SJ.

I spoke with her teacher and we devised a plan.

My Motherly instinct is telling me that she is just getting used to the classroom setting.

She's had encounters where kids have maybe been a little harsh about sharing, or taking turns, and listening to the teacher, and not wanting to do something, seeing other kids crying, fighting, not knowing how  to share yet. She told me the other day that someone pushed her away and said "NO".. and then she said "I was nervous Mama, I missed you"...
BREAK. MY. HEART.....

 

These are all reasons why she is there.

But I think she's nervous (as she openly told me today)

She's nervous about confrontation with other kids.. and interaction.

Because up to  this point she's never had to defend herself or really work out a problem with another kid in a classroom setting.

 

I feel so open and I know Im putting myself out there.

This post is half venting and half worrying.

Motherhood is the hardest job around.

And its hard after a day like today not to feel lost and like you are failing.

I am praying on it for a better day I suppose, and hoping that this too shall pass.

Its just a phase.

 

With Andrew:

More Prunes, Plums, Peaches, Greens..

With Samantha:

It wont be that easy.. I think its gonna take some time and patience.

Today was not such a good day.

Im trying to keep my head up.

I love my babies so much and it pains my heart to see them hurt in any way.

 

Tomorrow is another day... but im SOO glad today is OVER!!!

This Mama is headed for B.E.D!

Firehouse Tour {Playgroup}

Wednesday we met our Playgroup at the Fire Station!

I packed up both kids, and we had a great time!

 Samantha was so brave... she's a little shy..

especially around men, and then throw in HUGE men with fire gear and helmets on...

 She liked climbing up every single firetruck, and loved just being that close to one, and touching it

She let one of the firefighters lift her up to the drivers seat of the ladder truck

 And I dressed up Andrew in appropriate baby gear for the occasion.

He was just as he looks in this picture below, "chill".

He didnt make a PEEP the entire time.

He started in the stroller, but it was way to big to try and fit between the firetrucks, moms, and kids, so I just carried him the rest of the time.

 The kids were all so cute, and they all got goody bags at the end with pencils, coloring sheets and their very own firehat.

Andrew George {5 Months}

My Little (Big) Guy

5 Months Old?? Really?

You are:

Guessing around 20-21lbs.

You wear Size 3 Diaper

You are in 18 month onesies.. Yes I said 18 month.

Your legs arent too fat/long .. so you mostly wear 12 month one-pieces, or some 9 month pants/shorts

You take several small naps throughout the day

Your bedtime is around 9-10pm

You usually wake up at least one time to eat.

You've had Oatmeal Cereal!

At first you didnt like it too much.. and your patience level got the best of you.

So Im introducing this slowly.. 1 tbsp of cereal + my milk

You Roll

You scream

You laugh

You chew on everything, hands, burp cloths, toys, my face..

You think Samantha is hysterical, and you look at her and laugh and smile.. its so sweet

You love your Einstein... you stay in there for a while now by yourself!

You love swings

You love the outdoors (if you fuss.. its outside with you)

Newest Thing:

You love to grab your feet...you are very adorable

Happy Five Months to you my little man!

Your sister is so darn cute with you..
only SHE can make you laugh at the crabbiest moments
only SHE can get that cutesy face to get all embarrased.
only SHE can get you to follow her left to right, all around the house.
Its such a joy as a Mama to see her kids love so much.. and its only gonna get better..

Five Months...
and it will be 18 before we know it
Freeze time... my babies are getting so big!

Mom to Mom {Playgroup}

Recently I joined a playgroup.

Before Andrew was born I worked full time, and had not tried to join any groups before then.

Now that Im a newly SAHM, I realize the importance of really getting out.

I've attended a few events so far, and I've really enjoyed myself.

Andrew is to small yet to know what we're doing, but Samantha has fun learning how to play, share, take turns, etc.. Of course all this will go into hyper-mode in a few months when school starts for her.

But I find if I get my kids out ... especially in the AM for a few hours, it makes for a happier house later in the day.

So in attending these playgroups, I have ALWAYS come to find at least one mother who has had a baby with Colic as well! And I tell you.... NO ONE knows what you've gone through other than people who have gone through it themselves... you cant even begin to imagine, or begin to understand unless you've lived it.

A few conversations makes you feel so great and really helps other moms know their not alone. It felt so good to hear another mother say..."My son/daughter slept with us for the forst 4 months too," "He/She would cry all day long .. for hours... I was going out of my mind" "We tried Colic Ease, we tried acid reflux meds" "All I would do was pace the house holding him/her for months"... Gosh it was so nice to hear that my unimaginable lifestyle a few weeks ago was the same as so many other Moms out there.. And you look back and realize.. hey... this made me a stronger mom.. Now even on Andrew's crabbiest days.. I dont even stress out in the least... Because I went through HELL...and I'll take a no napping/crabby/teething baby....(with maybe a glass or two of wine.. haha)

So playgroup has been good. And the Moms I've met have been so sweet, and real, and wonderful to talk with.

This week we had a pool playdate and it was so much fun!

Next week we'll be at the pool again.. We cant wait!

The Great Outdoors

We've been having so much fun soaking up the summer sun..

I thought I'd capture a few good memories from the last few weeks

Samantha is knowingly obsessed with the Wizard of Oz
She found her own "yellow brick road"...(in front of a law office)
Everytime we walk by... or stroll by... we must take a few walks around..
or skips.. as she always does
Colored Chalk...

We love playing with chalk..

Making Chalk Roads, Chalk Paint..(dipping chalk into water...and making a paste, Chalk Wizard of Oz Ruby Slippers, Emerald City.. etc..

Feeding ducks...I dont think this will ever get old..

This is her and Daddy's thing..

Such a Dadda's Girl

And me and Andrew are enjoying ourselves too..

He's such a sweet snuggle bunny.

Andrew LOVES the water...

They've been chilling in our little baby pool.. but we just got a bigger one..

The HOT HOT weather has subsided for the last 5 days or so... but when it comes back I look forward to getting in the pool with the kids too..

We love summer!